Trauma bonding relation ship
If you have ever been in an abusive relationship and felt a bond with your abuser, you likely experienced what is known as trauma bonding.
Trauma bonding is when an abusive partner, parent, or friend causes you to feel a bond and sympathy. The abuser often switches between treating you poorly and showering you with positive attention.
The use of alternating forms of treatment can create a strong psychological bond, which may lead to trauma bonding. This can result in low self-esteem and the development of mental health disorders, such as depression.
Recognizing the signs of trauma bonding may help you avoid or take the necessary steps to break the bond.
1. Justifying or defending the person’s behavior
Survivors of domestic violence often describe their abuser's behavior as perfect or wonderful 90% of the time, with only 10% of their time together being problematic, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
The overall “good” behavior is what allows the bond to form in the first place.
When someone exhibits unhealthy traits or behaviors, you may try to justify their actions by making excuses for them, such as "they're just having a bad day" or "I shouldn't have spent money on myself."